Linux Drugs

Lady Astor was giving a costume ball and Winston Churchill asked her what
disguise she would recommend for him.  She replied, "Why don't you come
sober, Mr. Prime Minister?"

Let the worthy citizens of Chicago get their liquor the best way
they can. I'm sick of the job.  It's a thankless one and full of grief.
                -- Al Capone

Life, like beer, is merely borrowed.
                -- Don Reed

Look at it this way: Your daughter just named the fresh turkey you brought
home "Cuddles", so you're going out to buy a canned ham.  And you're still
drinking ordinary scotch?

Look at it this way: Your wife's spending $280 a month on meditation lessons to
forget $26,000 of college education. And you're still drinking ordinary scotch?

Marvin the Nature Lover spied a grasshopper hopping along in the grass,
and in a mood for communing with nature, rare even among full-fledged
Nature Lovers, he spoke to the grasshopper, saying: "Hello, friend
grasshopper.  Did you know they've named a drink after you?"
        "Really?" replied the grasshopper, obviously pleased.  "They've
named a drink Fred?"

"Mind if I smoke?"
        "I don't care if you burst into flames and die!"

"Mind if I smoke?"
        "Yes, I'd like to see that, does it come out of your ears or what?"

My mother drinks to forget she drinks.
                -- Crazy Jimmy

My uncle was the town drunk -- and we lived in Chicago.
                -- George Gobel