| Linux Humorists: 128 of 196 |
It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be
unhappy.
-- Groucho Marx
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| Linux Humorists: 129 of 196 |
It looked like something resembling white marble, which was
probably what it was: something resembling white marble.
-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy"
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| Linux Humorists: 130 of 196 |
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
-- Steven Wright
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| Linux Humorists: 131 of 196 |
It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa.
-- Groucho Marx
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| Linux Humorists: 132 of 196 |
It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-- Woody Allen
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| Linux Humorists: 133 of 196 |
Last night the power went out. Good thing my camera had a flash....
The neighbors thought it was lightning in my house, so they called the cops.
-- Steven Wright
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| Linux Humorists: 134 of 196 |
Last year we drove across the country... We switched on the driving...
every half mile. We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip.
I don't remember what it was.
-- Steven Wright
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| Linux Humorists: 135 of 196 |
Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
-- Woody Allen, "Annie Hall"
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| Linux Humorists: 136 of 196 |
Life is wasted on the living.
-- The Restaurant at the Edge of the Universe.
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| Linux Humorists: 137 of 196 |
Like you, I am frequently haunted by profound questions related to man's
place in the Scheme of Things. Here are just a few:
Q -- Is there life after death?
A -- Definitely. I speak from personal experience here. On New
Year's Eve, 1970, I drank a full pitcher of a drink called "Black Russian",
then crawled out on the lawn and died within a matter of minutes, which was
fine with me because I had come to realize that if I had lived I would have
spent the rest of my life in the grip of the most excruciatingly painful
headache. Thanks to the miracle of modern orange juice, I was brought back
to life several days later, but in the interim I was definitely dead. I
guess my main impression of the afterlife is that it isn't so bad as long
as you keep the television turned down and don't try to eat any solid foods.
-- Dave Barry
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