Linux Humorists
fortune: 181 - 190 of 196 from linux humorists
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Linux Humorists

Fortune: 181 - 190 of 196 from Linux Humorists

Linux Humorists:  181 of 196

What is comedy?  Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making
them puke.
                -- Steve Martin
 
Linux Humorists:  182 of 196

        "What shall we do?" said Twoflower.
        "Panic?" said Rincewind hopefully.  He always held that panic was
the best means of survival; back in the olden days, his theory went, people
faced with hungry sabretoothed tigers could be divided very simply into
those who panicked and those who stood there saying "What a magnificent
brute!" and "Here, pussy."
                -- Terry Pratchett, "The Light Fantastic"
 
Linux Humorists:  183 of 196

What's another word for "thesaurus"?
                -- Steven Wright
 
Linux Humorists:  184 of 196

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if
I had any firearms with me.  I said, "Well, what do you need?"
                -- Steven Wright
 
Linux Humorists:  185 of 196

When I was little, I went into a pet shop and they asked how big I'd get.
                -- Rodney Dangerfield
 
Linux Humorists:  186 of 196

When I woke up this morning, my girlfriend asked if I had slept well.
I said, "No, I made a few mistakes."
                -- Steven Wright
 
Linux Humorists:  187 of 196

Where humor is concerned there are no standards -- no one can say what
is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
                -- John Kenneth Galbraith
 
Linux Humorists:  188 of 196

Why is the alphabet in that order?  Is it because of that song?
                -- Steven Wright
 
Linux Humorists:  189 of 196

Will Rogers never met you.
 
Linux Humorists:  190 of 196

Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity...
If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your
head... if you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick...
                -- Steven Wright
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