|Linux Humorists: 37 of 196|
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in
the same room and let them fight it out.
-- Steven Wright
|Linux Humorists: 38 of 196|
From the moment I picked your book up until I put it down I was convulsed
with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
-- Groucho Marx, from "The Book of Insults"
|Linux Humorists: 39 of 196|
God is a comic playing to an audience that's afraid to laugh.
|Linux Humorists: 40 of 196|
He asked me if I knew what time it was -- I said yes, but not right now.
-- Steven Wright
|Linux Humorists: 41 of 196|
"Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like
`Psychic Wins Lottery'?"
-- Jay Leno
|Linux Humorists: 42 of 196|
Hey, what do you expect from a culture that *drives* on *parkways* and
*parks* on *driveways*?
|Linux Humorists: 43 of 196|
High Priest: Armaments Chapter One, verses nine through twenty-seven:
Bro. Maynard: And Saint Attila raised the Holy Hand Grenade up on high
saying, "Oh Lord, Bless us this Holy Hand Grenade, and with it
smash our enemies to tiny bits." And the Lord did grin, and the
people did feast upon the lambs, and stoats, and orangutans, and
breakfast cereals, and lima bean-
High Priest: Skip a bit, brother.
Bro. Maynard: And then the Lord spake, saying: "First, shalt thou take
out the holy pin. Then shalt thou count to three. No more, no less.
*Three* shall be the number of the counting, and the number of the
counting shall be three. *Four* shalt thou not count, and neither
count thou two, excepting that thou then goest on to three. Five is
RIGHT OUT. Once the number three, being the third number be reached,
then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade towards thy foe, who, being
naughty in my sight, shall snuff it. Amen.
-- Monty Python, "The Holy Hand Grenade"
|Linux Humorists: 44 of 196|
"Humor is a drug which it's the fashion to abuse."
-- William Gilbert
|Linux Humorists: 45 of 196|
Humorists always sit at the children's table.
-- Woody Allen
|Linux Humorists: 46 of 196|
I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern
-- Ogden Nash, "Everybody's Mind to Me a Kingdom Is"