Linux Humorists
fortune: 37 - 46 of 196 from linux humorists
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Linux Humorists

Fortune: 37 - 46 of 196 from Linux Humorists

Linux Humorists:  37 of 196

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier...  I put them in
the same room and let them fight it out.
                -- Steven Wright
 
Linux Humorists:  38 of 196

From the moment I picked your book up until I put it down I was convulsed
with laughter.  Some day I intend reading it.
                -- Groucho Marx, from "The Book of Insults"
 
Linux Humorists:  39 of 196

God is a comic playing to an audience that's afraid to laugh.
 
Linux Humorists:  40 of 196

He asked me if I knew what time it was -- I said yes, but not right now.
                -- Steven Wright
 
Linux Humorists:  41 of 196

"Here's something to think about:  How come you never see a headline like
`Psychic Wins Lottery'?"
                -- Jay Leno
 
Linux Humorists:  42 of 196

Hey, what do you expect from a culture that *drives* on *parkways* and
*parks* on *driveways*?
                -- Gallagher
 
Linux Humorists:  43 of 196

High Priest:    Armaments Chapter One, verses nine through twenty-seven:
Bro. Maynard:   And Saint Attila raised the Holy Hand Grenade up on high
        saying, "Oh Lord, Bless us this Holy Hand Grenade, and with it
        smash our enemies to tiny bits."  And the Lord did grin, and the
        people did feast upon the lambs, and stoats, and orangutans, and
        breakfast cereals, and lima bean-
High Priest:    Skip a bit, brother.
Bro. Maynard:   And then the Lord spake, saying: "First, shalt thou take
        out the holy pin.  Then shalt thou count to three.  No more, no less.
        *Three* shall be the number of the counting, and the number of the
        counting shall be three.  *Four* shalt thou not count, and neither
        count thou two, excepting that thou then goest on to three.  Five is
        RIGHT OUT.  Once the number three, being the third number be reached,
        then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade towards thy foe, who, being
        naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.  Amen.
All:    Amen.
                -- Monty Python, "The Holy Hand Grenade"
 
Linux Humorists:  44 of 196

"Humor is a drug which it's the fashion to abuse."
                -- William Gilbert
 
Linux Humorists:  45 of 196

Humorists always sit at the children's table.
                -- Woody Allen
 
Linux Humorists:  46 of 196

I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern
unstoned.
                -- Ogden Nash, "Everybody's Mind to Me a Kingdom Is"
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