Linux Humorists

A possum must be himself, and being himself he is honest.
                -- Walt Kelly

"A power so great, it can only be used for Good or Evil!"
                -- Firesign Theatre, "The Giant Rat of Summatra"

                Accidents cause History.

If Sigismund Unbuckle had taken a walk in 1426 and met Wat Tyler, the
Peasant's Revolt would never have happened and the motor car would not
have been invented until 2026, which would have meant that all the oil
could have been used for lamps, thus saving the electric light bulb and
the whale, and nobody would have caught Moby Dick or Billy Budd.
                -- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac"

All men are mortal.  Socrates was mortal.  Therefore, all men are Socrates.
                -- Woody Allen

All of the people in my building are insane.  The guy above me designs
synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.  The lady across the hall tried to
rob a department store... with a pricing gun...  She said, "Give me all
of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store."
                -- Steven Wright

And now for something completely different.

And now for something completely the same.

        "Are you sure you're not an encyclopedia salesman?"
        No, Ma'am.  Just a burglar, come to ransack the flat."
                -- Monty Python

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" -- probably because it's
so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
                -- Woody Allen

Being Ymor's right-hand man was like being gently flogged to death with
scented bootlaces.
                -- Terry Pratchett, "The Colour of Magic"