Linux Humorists
fortune: 51 - 60 of 196 from linux humorists
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Linux Humorists

Fortune: 51 - 60 of 196 from Linux Humorists

Linux Humorists:  51 of 196

I base my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.
                -- Gilda Radner
 
Linux Humorists:  52 of 196

I bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house.
                -- Steven Wright
 
Linux Humorists:  53 of 196

I cannot overemphasize the importance of good grammar.

What a crock.  I could easily overemphasize the importance of good
grammar.  For example, I could say: "Bad grammar is the leading cause
of slow, painful death in North America," or "Without good grammar, the
United States would have lost World War II."
                -- Dave Barry, "An Utterly Absurd Look at Grammar"
 
Linux Humorists:  54 of 196

"I changed my headlights the other day. I put in strobe lights instead! Now
when I drive at night, it looks like everyone else is standing still ..."
                -- Steven Wright
 
Linux Humorists:  55 of 196

I could dance with you till the cows come home.  On second thought, I'd rather
dance with the cows till you come home.
                -- Groucho Marx
 
Linux Humorists:  56 of 196

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that
either.
                -- Jack Benny
 
Linux Humorists:  57 of 196

I don't get no respect.
 
Linux Humorists:  58 of 196

I don't kill flies, but I like to mess with their minds.  I hold them above
globes.  They freak out and yell "Whooa, I'm *way* too high."
                -- Bruce Baum
 
Linux Humorists:  59 of 196

I don't want to live on in my work, I want to live on in my apartment.
                -- Woody Allen
 
Linux Humorists:  60 of 196

I finally went to the eye doctor.  I got contacts.  I only need them to
read, so I got flip-ups.
                -- Steven Wright
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