Linux Law

It's recently come to Fortune's attention that scientists have stopped
using laboratory rats in favor of attorneys.  Seems that there are not
only more of them, but you don't get so emotionally attached.  The only
difficulty is that it's sometimes difficult to apply the experimental
results to humans.

        [Also, there are some things even a rat won't do.  Ed.]

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that
reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away
someone else's cash.
                -- P.G. Wodehouse, "Louder and Funnier"

Just remember: when you go to court, you are trusting your fate to
twelve people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty!

Kansas state law requires pedestrians crossing the highways at night to
wear tail lights.

Kirkland, Illinois, law forbids bees to fly over the village or through
any of its streets.

Know how to save 5 drowning lawyers?

-- No?

GOOD!

Laws are like sausages.  It's better not to see them being made.
                -- Otto von Bismarck

Legislation proposed in the Illinois State Legislature, May, 1907:
        "Speed upon county roads will be limited to ten miles an hour
unless the motorist sees a bailiff who does not appear to have had a
drink in 30 days, when the driver will be permitted to make what he can."

Let us remember that ours is a nation of lawyers and order.

Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick
your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as
Mental Anguish.  You would sue:

* The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions
  section that says you should never never never ever stick you hand
  into the toaster, the statement "Not even if your wedding ring falls
  in there".

* The store where you bought the toaster, for selling it to an obvious
  cretin like yourself.

* Union Carbide Corporation, which is not directly responsible in this
  case, but which is feeling so guilty that it would probably send you
  a large cash settlement anyway.
                -- Dave Barry