Fortune: 36 - 45 of 202 from Linux Law
|Linux Law: 36 of 202|
Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the
most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of
Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which
reads, "In the Nuts (unground), (other than ground nuts) Order, the expression
nuts shall have reference to such nuts, other than ground nuts, as would
but for this amending Order not qualify as nuts (unground) (other than ground
nuts) by reason of their being nuts (unground)."
-- Guiness Book of World Records, 1973
|Linux Law: 37 of 202|
Chicago law prohibits eating in a place that is on fire.
|Linux Law: 38 of 202|
Diogenes went to look for an honest lawyer. "How's it going?", someone
asked him, after a few days.
"Not too bad", replied Diogenes. "I still have my lantern."
|Linux Law: 39 of 202|
[District Attorneys] learn in District Attorney School that there are
two sure-fire ways to get a lot of favorable publicity:
(1) Go down and raid all the lockers in the local high school and
confiscate 53 marijuana cigarettes and put them in a pile and hold
a press conference where you announce that they have a street value
of $850 million. These raids never fail, because ALL high schools,
including brand-new, never-used ones, have at least 53 marijuana
cigarettes in the lockers. As far as anyone can tell, the locker
factory puts them there.
(2) Raid an "adult book store" and hold a press conference where you
announce you are charging the owner with 850 counts of being a
piece of human sleaze. This also never fails, because you always
get a conviction. A juror at a pornography trial is not about to
state for the record that he finds nothing obscene about a movie
where actors engage in sexual activities with live snakes and a
fire extinguisher. He is going to convict the bookstore owner, and
vote for the death penalty just to make sure nobody gets the wrong
-- Dave Barry, "Pornography"
|Linux Law: 40 of 202|
District of Columbia pedestrians who leap over passing autos to escape
injury, and then strike the car as they come down, are liable for any
damage inflicted on the vehicle.
|Linux Law: 41 of 202|
Divorce is a game played by lawyers.
-- Cary Grant
|Linux Law: 42 of 202|
Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with
little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.
-- Roy G. Blount, Jr.
|Linux Law: 43 of 202|
Fights between cats and dogs are prohibited by statute in Barber, North
|Linux Law: 44 of 202|
First there was Dial-A-Prayer, then Dial-A-Recipe, and even Dial-A-Footballer.
But the south-east Victorian town of Sale has produced one to top them all.
It all began early yesterday when Sale police received a telephone
call: "You won't believe this, and I'm not drunk, but there's a wombat in the
phone booth outside the town hall," the caller said.
Not firmly convinced about the caller's claim to sobriety, members of
the constabulary drove to the scene, expecting to pick up a drunk.
But there it was, an annoyed wombat, trapped in a telephone booth.
The wombat, determined not to be had the better of again, threw its
bulk into the fray. It was eventually lassoed and released in a nearby scrub.
Then the officers received another message ... another wombat in
another phone booth.
There it was: *Another* angry wombat trapped in a telephone booth.
The constables took the miffed marsupial into temporary custody and
released it, too, in the scrub.
But on their way back to the station they happened to pass another
telephone booth, and -- you guessed it -- another imprisoned wombat.
After some serious detective work, the lads in blue found a suspect,
and after questioning, released him to be charged on summons.
Their problem ... they cannot find a law against placing wombats in
-- "Newcastle Morning Herald", NSW Australia, Aug 1980.
|Linux Law: 45 of 202|
For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.
-- Gore Vidal