Linux Love

"I'd love to go out with you, but I've been scheduled for a karma transplant."

"I'd love to go out with you, but it's my parakeet's bowling night."

"I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV."

"I'd love to go out with you, but the last time I went out, I never came back."

"I'd love to go out with you, but the man on television told me to say tuned."

"I'd love to go out with you, but there are important world issues that
need worrying about."

I'd love to kiss you, but I just washed my hair.
                -- Bette Davis, "Cabin in the Cotton"

        "I'll tell you what I know, then," he decided.  "The pin I'm wearing
means I'm a member of the IA.  That's Inamorati Anonymous.  An inamorato is
somebody in love.  That's the worst addiction of all."
        "Somebody is about to fall in love," Oedipa said, "you go sit with
them, or something?"
        "Right.  The whole idea is to get where you don't need it.  I was
lucky.  I kicked it young.  But there are sixty-year-old men, believe it or
not, and women even older, who might wake up in the night screaming."
        "You hold meetings, then, like the AA?"
        "No, of course not.  You get a phone number, an answering service
you can call.  Nobody knows anybody else's name; just the number in case
it gets so bad you can't handle it alone.  We're isolates, Arnold.  Meetings
would destroy the whole point of it."
                -- Thomas Pynchon, "The Crying of Lot 49"

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
                -- Lily Tomlin

If Love Were Oil, I'd Be About A Quart Low
                -- Book title by Lewis Grizzard