Linux Definitions

Collaboration, n.:
        A literary partnership based on the false assumption that the
        other fellow can spell.

College:
        The fountains of knowledge, where everyone goes to drink.

Colvard's Logical Premises:
        All probabilities are 50%.
        Either a thing will happen or it won't.

Colvard's Unconscionable Commentary:
        This is especially true when dealing with someone you're attracted to.

Grelb's Commentary:
        Likelihoods, however, are 90% against you.

Command, n.:
        Statement presented by a human and accepted by a computer in
        such a manner as to make the human feel as if he is in control.

comment:
        A superfluous element of a source program included so the
        programmer can remember what the hell it was he was doing
        six months later.  Only the weak-minded need them, according
        to those who think they aren't.

Commitment, n.:
        [The difference between involvement and] Commitment can be
        illustrated by a breakfast of ham and eggs.  The chicken was
        involved, the pig was committed.

Committee Rules:
        (1) Never arrive on time, or you will be stamped a beginner.
        (2) Don't say anything until the meeting is half over; this
            stamps you as being wise.
        (3) Be as vague as possible; this prevents irritating the
            others.
        (4) When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed.
        (5) Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you
            popular -- it's what everyone is waiting for.

Committee, n.:
        A group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group
        decide that nothing can be done.
                -- Fred Allen

Commoner's three laws of ecology:
        (1) No action is without side-effects.
        (2) Nothing ever goes away.
        (3) There is no free lunch.

Complex system:
        One with real problems and imaginary profits.