Freebsd Fortunes 7

When forecasting, give them a number
or give them a date, but never both.

When God endowed human beings with brains,
He did not intend to guarantee them.

When God saw how faulty was man He tried again and made woman.  As to
why he then stopped there are two opinions.  One of them is woman's.
                -- DeGourmont

When he got in trouble in the ring, [Ali] imagined a door swung open and
inside he could see neon, orange, and green lights blinking, and bats
blowing trumpets and alligators blowing trombones, and he could hear snakes
screaming.  Weird masks and actors' clothes hung on the wall, and if he
stepped across the sill and reached for them, he knew that he was committing
himself to destruction.
                -- George Plimpton

When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced
to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.
                -- Brendan Behan

When I demanded of my friend what viands he preferred,
He quoth: "A large cold bottle, and a small hot bird!"
                -- Eugene Field, "The Bottle and the Bird"

when i die, i'd like to go peacefully.
in my sleep.
like my grandfather.

not screaming,
like the passengers in his car...

When I drink, *everybody* drinks!" a man shouted to the assembled bar patrons.  A
loud general cheer went up.  After downing his whiskey, he hopped onto a
barstool and shouted "When I take another drink, *everybody* takes another
drink!"  The announcement produced another cheer and another round of drinks.
        As soon as he had downed his second drink, the fellow hopped back
onto the stool.  "And when I pay," he bellowed, slapping five dollars onto
the bar, "*everybody* pays!"

When I first arrived in this country I had only fifteen cents in my pocket
and a willingness to compromise.
                -- Weber cartoon caption

When I get real bored, I like to drive down town and get a great
parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me
if i'm leaving.
                -- Steven Wright