Linux Men Women

You can't kiss a girl unexpectedly -- only sooner than she thought you would.

You have only to mumble a few words in church to get married and few words
in your sleep to get divorced.

You just know when a relationship is about to end.  My girlfriend called me
at work and asked me how you change a lightbulb in the bathroom.  "It's very
simple," I said. "You start by filling up the bathtub with water..."

You know what we can be like:  See a guy and think he's cute one minute, the
next minute our brains have us married with kids, the following minute we see
him having an extramarital affair.  By the time someone says "I'd like you to
meet Cecil," we shout, "You're late again with the child support!"
                -- Cynthia Heimel, "A Girl's Guide to Chaos"

You know you're getting old when you're Dad, and you're measuring your daughter
for camp clothes, and there are certain measurements only her mother is allowed
to take.

You know, of course, that the Tasmanians, who never committed adultery,
are now extinct.
                -- M. Somerset Maugham

You lived with a man who wore white belts?  Laura, I'm disappointed in you.
                -- Remington Steele

You think Oedipus had a problem -- Adam was Eve's mother.

"You're just the sort of person I imagined marrying, when I was little...
except, y'know, not green... and without all the patches of fungus."
                -- Swamp Thing

        Young men and young women may work systematically six days in the
week and rise fresh in the morning, but let them attend modern dances for
only a few hours each evening and see what happens.  The Waltz, Polka,
Gallop and other dances of the same kind will be disastrous in their effects
to both sexes.  Health and vigor will vanish like the dew before the sun.
        It is not the extraordinary exercise which harms the dancer, but
rather the coming into close contact with the opposite sex.  It is the
fury of lust craving incessantly for more pleasure that undermines the
soul, the body, the sinews and nerves.  Experience and statistics show
beyond doubt that passionate excessive dancing girls can hardly reach
twenty-five years of age and men thirty-one.  Even if they reached that
age they will in most instances be broken in health physically and morally.
This is the claim of prominent physicians in this country.
                -- Quote from a 1910 periodical