Linux Work

Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.
        -- Howard Kandel

Veni, Vidi, VISA:
    I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.

Very few things actually get manufactured these days, because in an
infinitely large Universe, such as the one in which we live, most things one
could possibly imagine, and a lot of things one would rather not, grow
somewhere.  A forest was discovered recently in which most of the trees grew
ratchet screwdrivers as fruit.  The life cycle of the ratchet screwdriver is
quite interesting.  Once picked it needs a dark dusty drawer in which it can
lie undisturbed for years.  Then one night it suddenly hatches, discards its
outer skin that crumbles into dust, and emerges as a totally unidentifiable
little metal object with flanges at both ends and a sort of ridge and a hole
for a screw.  This, when found, will get thrown away.  No one knows what the
screwdriver is supposed to gain from this.  Nature, in her infinite wisdom,
is presumably working on it.

Vests are to suits as seat-belts are to cars.

VI:
    A hungry dog hunts best.
    A hungrier dog hunts even better.
VII:
    Decreased business base increases overhead.
    So does increased business base.
VIII:
    The most unsuccessful four years in the education of a cost-estimator
    is fifth grade arithmetic.
IX:
    Acronyms and abbreviations should be used to the maximum extent
    possible to make trivial ideas profound.  Q.E.D.
X:
    Bulls do not win bull fights; people do.
    People do not win people fights; lawyers do.
        -- Norman Augustine

Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by spontaneously moving
from where you left them to where you can't find them.

    WARNING TO ALL PERSONNEL:

Firings will continue until morale improves.

Waste not, get your budget cut next year.

We all like praise, but a hike in our pay is the best kind of ways.

We all live in a state of ambitious poverty.
        -- Decimus Junius Juvenalis