Linux Ethnic

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them
seemed to come from Texas.
                -- Ian Fleming, "Casino Royale"

Boston State House is the hub of the Solar System.  You couldn't pry that out
of a Boston man if you had the tire of all creation straightened out for a
crowbar.
                -- Oliver Wendell Holmes

        Carol's head ached as she trailed behind the unsmiling Calibrees
along the block of booths.  She chirruped at Kennicott, "Let's be wild!
Let's ride on the merry-go-round and grab a gold ring!"
        Kennicott considered it, and mumbled to Calibree, "Think you folks
would like to stop and try a ride on the merry-go-round?"
        Calibree considered it, and mumbled to his wife, "Think you'd like
to stop and try a ride on the merry-go-round?"
        Mrs. Calibree smiled in a washed-out manner, and sighed, "Oh no,
I don't believe I care to much, but you folks go ahead and try it."
        Calibree stated to Kennicott, "No, I don't believe we care to a
whole lot, but you folks go ahead and try it."
        Kennicott summarized the whole case against wildness: "Let's try
it some other time, Carrie."
        She gave it up.
                -- Sinclair Lewis, "Main Street"

Climate and Surgery
        R C Gilchrist, who was shot by J Sharp twelve days ago, and who
received a derringer ball in the right breast, and who it was supposed at
the time could not live many hours, was on the street yesterday and the
day before -- walking several blocks at a time.  To those who design to be
riddled with bullets or cut to pieces with Bowie-knives, we cordially
recommend our Sacramento climate and Sacramento surgery.
                -- Sacramento Daily Union, September 11, 1861

David Letterman's "Things we can be proud of as Americans":

        * Greatest number of citizens who have actually boarded a UFO
        * Many newspapers feature "JUMBLE"
        * Hourly motel rates
        * Vast majority of Elvis movies made here
        * Didn't just give up right away during World War II
                like some countries we could mention
        * Goatees & Van Dykes thought to be worn only by weenies
        * Our well-behaved golf professionals
        * Fabulous babes coast to coast

Decemba, n:     The 12th month of the year.
erra, n:        A mistake.
faa, n:         To, from, or at considerable distance.
Linder, n:      A female name.
memba, n:       To recall to the mind; think of again.
New Hampsha, n: A state in the northeast United States.
New Yaak, n:    Another state in the northeast United States.
Novemba, n:     The 11th month of the year.
Octoba, n:      The 10th month of the year.
ova, n:         Location above or across a specified position.  What the
                        season is when the Knicks quit playing.
                -- Massachewsetts Unabridged Dictionary

Detroit is Cleveland without the glitter.

Do Miami a favor.  When you leave, take someone with you.

Do you know Montana?

Do you know the difference between a yankee and a damyankee?

A yankee comes south to *visit*.