Linux Ethnic

"I'm in Pittsburgh.  Why am I here?"
                -- Harold Urey, Nobel Laureate

If all the Chinese simultaneously jumped into the Pacific off a 10 foot
platform erected 10 feet off their coast, it would cause a tidal wave
that would destroy everything in this country west of Nebraska.

Illinois isn't exactly the land that God forgot -- it's more like the
land He's trying to ignore.

In 1880 the French captured Detroit but gave it back ... they couldn't
get parts.

In America, it's not how much an item costs, it's how much you save.

In any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of nations --
it's cold, half-French, and difficult to stir.
                -- Stuart Keate

In California they don't throw their garbage away -- they make it into
television shows.
                -- Woody Allen, "Annie Hall"

In Minnesota they ask why all football fields in Iowa have artificial turf.
It's so the cheerleaders won't graze during the game.

Indiana is a state dedicated to basketball.  Basketball, soybeans, hogs and
basketball.  Berkeley, needless to say, is not nearly as athletic.  Berkeley
is dedicated to coffee, angst, potholes and coffee.
                -- Carolyn Jones

Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations

        Sign on a cabin door of a Soviet Black Sea cruise liner:
                Helpsavering apparata in emergings behold many whistles!
                Associate the stringing apparata about the bosums and meet
                behind, flee then to the indifferent lifesaveringshippen
                obedicing the instructs of the vessel.

        On the door in a Belgrade hotel:
                Let us know about any unficiency as well as leaking on
                the service. Our utmost will improve it.

                -- Colin Bowles