Linux Ethnic

In Minnesota they ask why all football fields in Iowa have artificial turf.
It's so the cheerleaders won't graze during the game.

Indiana is a state dedicated to basketball.  Basketball, soybeans, hogs and
basketball.  Berkeley, needless to say, is not nearly as athletic.  Berkeley
is dedicated to coffee, angst, potholes and coffee.
                -- Carolyn Jones

Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations

        Sign on a cabin door of a Soviet Black Sea cruise liner:
                Helpsavering apparata in emergings behold many whistles!
                Associate the stringing apparata about the bosums and meet
                behind, flee then to the indifferent lifesaveringshippen
                obedicing the instructs of the vessel.

        On the door in a Belgrade hotel:
                Let us know about any unficiency as well as leaking on
                the service. Our utmost will improve it.

                -- Colin Bowles

Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations

        Sign on a cathedral in Spain:
                It is forbidden to enter a woman, even a foreigner if
                dressed as a man.

        Above the enterance to a Cairo bar:
                Unaccompanied ladies not admitted unless with husband
                or similar.

        On a Bucharest elevator:

                The lift is being fixed for the next days.
                During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

                -- Colin Bowles

Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations

        Various signs in Poland:

                Right turn toward immediate outside.

                Go soothingly in the snow, as there lurk the ski demons.

                Five o'clock tea at all hours.

        In a men's washroom in Sidney:

                Shake excess water from hands, push button to start,
                rub hands rapidly under air outlet and wipe hands
                on front of shirt.

                -- Colin Bowles, San Francisco Chronicle

Iowans ask why Minnesotans don't drink more Kool-Aid.  That's because
they can't figure out how to get two quarts of water into one of those
little paper envelopes.

Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angeles to San Francisco live there?
                -- Herb Caen

It's hard to argue that God hated Oklahoma.  If He didn't, why is it so
close to Texas?

It's not Camelot, but it's not Cleveland, either.
                -- Kevin White, Mayor of Boston

It's not enough to be Hungarian; you must have talent too.
                -- Alexander Korda