Linux Ethnic

Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made
sense from things she found in gift shops.
                -- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Likewise, the national appetizer, brine-cured herring with raw onions,
wins few friends, Germans excepted.
                -- Darwin Porter "Scandinavia On $50 A Day"

Living in LA is like not having a date on Saturday night.
                -- Candice Bergen

Living in New York City gives people real incentives to want things that
nobody else wants.
                -- Andy Warhol

Minnesota --
        home of the blonde hair and blue ears.
        mosquito supplier to the free world.
        come fall in love with a loon.
        where visitors turn blue with envy.
        one day it's warm, the rest of the year it's cold.
        land of many cultures -- mostly throat.
        where the elite meet sleet.
        glove it or leave it.
        many are cold, but few are frozen.
        land of the ski and home of the crazed.
        land of 10,000 Petersons.

Moishe Margolies, who weighed all of 105 pounds and stood an even five feet
in his socks, was taking his first airplane trip. He took a seat next to a
hulking bruiser of a man who happened to be the heavyweight champion of
the world.  Little Moishe was uneasy enough before he even entered the plane,
but now the roar of the engines and the great height absolutely terrified him.
So frightened did he become that his stomach turned over and he threw up all
over the muscular giant siting beside him.  Fortunately, at least for Moishe,
the man was sound asleep.  But now the little man had another problem.  How in
the world would he ever explain the situation to the burly brute when he
awakened?  The sudden voice of the stewardess on the plane's intercom, finally
woke the bruiser, and Moishe, his heart in his mouth, rose to the occasion.
        "Feeling better now?" he asked solicitously.

Monterey... is decidedly the pleasantest and most civilized-looking place
in California ... [it] is also a great place for cock-fighting, gambling
of all sorts, fandangos, and various kinds of amusements and knavery.
                -- Richard Henry Dama, "Two Years Before the Mast", 1840

Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.
                -- Richard Lewis

My godda bless, never I see sucha people.
                -- Signor Piozzi, quoted by Cecilia Thrale

New York is real.  The rest is done with mirrors.