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fortune: 49 - 58 of 198 from linux food
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Linux Food

Fortune: 49 - 58 of 198 from Linux Food

Linux Food:  49 of 198

Fortune's diet truths:
1:  Forget what the cookbooks say, plain yogurt tastes nothing like sour cream.
2:  Any recipe calling for soybeans tastes like mud.
3:  Carob is not an acceptable substitute for chocolate.  In fact, carob is not
    an acceptable substitute for anything, except, perhaps, brown shoe polish.
4:  There is no such thing as a "fun salad."  So let's stop pretending and see
    salads for what they are:  God's punishment for being fat.
5:  Fruit salad without maraschino cherries and marshmallows is about as
    appealing as tepid beer.
6:  A world lacking gravy is a tragic place!
7:  You should immediately pass up any recipes entitled "luscious and
    low-cal."  Also skip dishes featuring "lively liver."  They aren't and
    it isn't.
8:  Wearing a blindfold often makes many diet foods more palatable.
9:  Fresh fruit is not dessert.  CAKE is dessert!
10: Okra tastes slightly worse than its name implies.
11: A plain baked potato isn't worth the effort involved in chewing and
    swallowing.
 
Linux Food:  50 of 198

God must have loved calories, she made so many of them.
 
Linux Food:  51 of 198

GREAT MOMENTS IN HISTORY (#7):  November 23, 1915

Pancake make-up is invented; most people continue to prefer syrup.
 
Linux Food:  52 of 198

Has anyone ever tasted an "end"?  Are they really bitter?
 
Linux Food:  53 of 198

                        Has your family tried 'em?

                           POWDERMILK BISCUITS

                 Heavens, they're tasty and expeditious!

            They're made from whole wheat, to give shy persons
           the strength to get up and do what needs to be done.

                           POWDERMILK BISCUITS

        Buy them ready-made in the big blue box with the picture of
        the biscuit on the front, or in the brown bag with the dark
                     stains that indicate freshness.
 
Linux Food:  54 of 198

Have a taco.
                -- P.S. Beagle
 
Linux Food:  55 of 198

Home on the Range was originally written in beef-flat.
 
Linux Food:  56 of 198

Hors d'oeuvres -- a ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.
                -- Jack Benny
 
Linux Food:  57 of 198

        "How did you spend the weekend?" asked the pretty brunette secretary
of her blonde companion.
        "Fishing through the ice," she replied.
        "Fishing through the ice?   Whatever for?"
        "Olives."
 
Linux Food:  58 of 198

How many hors d'oeuvres you are allowed to take off a tray being carried by
a waiter at a nice party?
        Two, but there are ways around it, depending on the style of the hors
d'oeuvre.  If they're those little pastry things where you can't tell what's
inside, you take one, bite off about two-thirds of it, then say:  "This is
cheese!  I hate cheese!"  Then you put the rest of it back on the tray and
bite another one and go, "Darn it!  Another cheese!" and so on.
                -- Dave Barry, "The Stuff of Etiquette"
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