Linux Food

Home on the Range was originally written in beef-flat.

Hors d'oeuvres -- a ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.
                -- Jack Benny

        "How did you spend the weekend?" asked the pretty brunette secretary
of her blonde companion.
        "Fishing through the ice," she replied.
        "Fishing through the ice?   Whatever for?"
        "Olives."

How many hors d'oeuvres you are allowed to take off a tray being carried by
a waiter at a nice party?
        Two, but there are ways around it, depending on the style of the hors
d'oeuvre.  If they're those little pastry things where you can't tell what's
inside, you take one, bite off about two-thirds of it, then say:  "This is
cheese!  I hate cheese!"  Then you put the rest of it back on the tray and
bite another one and go, "Darn it!  Another cheese!" and so on.
                -- Dave Barry, "The Stuff of Etiquette"

I am so optimistic about beef prices that I've just leased a pot roast
with an option to buy.

I brake for chezlogs!

I couldn't remember when I had been so disappointed.  Except perhaps the
time I found out that M&Ms really DO melt in your hand.
                -- Peter Oakley

I don't care for the Sugar Smacks commercial.  I don't like the idea of
a frog jumping on my Breakfast.
                -- Lowell, Chicago Reader 10/15/82

I don't care where I sit as long as I get fed.
                -- Calvin Trillin

I don't even butter my bread.  I consider that cooking.
                -- Katherine Cebrian