Linux Food

IT MAKES ME MAD when I go to all the trouble of having Marta cook up about
a hundred drumsticks, then the guy at Marineland says, "You can't throw
that chicken to the dolphins. They eat fish."

Sure they eat fish if that's all you give them!  Man, wise up.
                -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.

It was a brave man that ate the first oyster.

It would be nice if the Food and Drug Administration stopped issuing warnings
about toxic substances and just gave me the names of one or two things still
safe to eat.
                -- Robert Fuoss

It's raisins that make Post Raisin Bran so raisiny ...

It's so beautifully arranged on the plate -- you know someone's fingers
have been all over it.
                -- Julia Child on nouvelle cuisine.

Just a few of the perfect excuses for having some strawberry shortcake.
Pick one.

         (1)    It's less calories than two pieces of strawberry shortcake.
         (2)    It's cheaper than going to France.
         (3)    It neutralizes the brownies I had yesterday.
         (4)    Life is short.
         (5)    It's somebody's birthday.  I don't want them to celebrate alone.
         (6)    It matches my eyes.
         (7)    Whoever said, "Let them eat cake." must have been talking to me.
         (8)    To punish myself for eating dessert yesterday.
         (9)    Compensation for all the time I spend in the shower not eating.
        (10)    Strawberry shortcake is evil.  I must help rid the world of it.
        (11)    I'm getting weak from eating all that healthy stuff.
        (12)    It's the second anniversary of the night I ate plain broccoli.

Killing turkeys causes winter.

Kissing don't last, cookery do.
                -- George Meredith

Kitchen activity is highlighted.  Butter up a friend.

Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up
the pillow was gone.
                -- Tommy Cooper