Freebsd Fortunes 2

An adequate bootstrap is a contradiction in terms.

An Aggie farmer was lifting his hogs, one by one, up to the branches of
his apple trees to graze on the apples.  A Texas student walked by and
asked him, "Doesn't that take a lot of time?"
        Replied the Aggie, "What's time to a hog?"

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
                -- Dylan Thomas

An algorithm must be seen to be believed.
                -- D.E. Knuth

An ambassador is an honest man sent abroad
to lie and intrigue for the benefit of his country.
                -- Sir Henry Wotton, 1568-1639

An amendment to a motion may be amended, but an amendment to an amendment
to a motion may not be amended.  However, a substitute for an amendment to
and amendment to a motion may be adopted and the substitute may be amended.
                -- The Montana legislature's contribution to the English
                language.

An American is a man with two arms and four wheels.
                -- A Chinese child

An American scientist once visited the offices of the great Nobel prize
winning physicist, Niels Bohr, in Copenhagen.  He was amazed to find that
over Bohr's desk was a horseshoe, securely nailed to the wall, with the
open end up in the approved manner (so it would catch the good luck and not
let it spill out).  The American said with a nervous laugh,
        "Surely you don't believe the horseshoe will bring you good luck,
do you, Professor Bohr?  After all, as a scientist --"
Bohr chuckled.
        "I believe no such thing, my good friend.  Not at all.  I am
scarcely likely to believe in such foolish nonsense.  However, I am told
that a horseshoe will bring you good luck whether you believe in it or not."

An American tourist is visiting Russia, and he's talking with a Russian
about the fact that not many people in Russia own cars.

American:       "I can't believe you don't have cars here!  How do you
                get to work?"
Russian:        "We take the bus, or the subway.  We have public
                transportation everywhere."
A:              "Well, how do you go on vacations?"
R:              "We take the train."
A:              "Well, what if you want to go abroad?"
R:              "We don't ever want go abroad."
A:              "Well, what if you really HAVE to go abroad?"
R:              "We take tanks."

An American's a person who isn't afraid to criticize
the president but is always polite to traffic cops.