Freebsd Fortunes 2

An infallible method of conciliating a tiger
is to allow oneself to be devoured.
                -- Konrad Adenauer

An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself.
                -- Albert Camus

An interpretation I satisfies a sentence in the table language if and only if
each entry in the table designates the value of the function designated by the
function constant in the upper-left corner applied to the objects designated
by the corresponding row and column labels.
                -- Genesereth & Nilsson, "Logical foundations of Artificial
                   Intelligence"

An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.
                -- Benjamin Franklin

An old Jewish man reads about Einstein's theory of relativity
in the newspaper and asks his scientist grandson to explain it to him.
        "Well, zayda, it's sort of like this.  Einstein says that if
you're having your teeth drilled without Novocain, a minute seems like
an hour.  But if you're sitting with a beautiful woman on your lap, an
hour seems like a minute."
        The old man considers this profound bit of thinking for a
moment and says, "And from this he makes a living?"
                -- Arthur Naiman

An old man is lying on his deathbed with all his children, grandchildren and
great-grandchildren gathered around, teary-eyed at the approaching finale of
a deeply loved family member.  The old man is in a light coma, and the doctors
have confirmed that the waiting will be over within the next twenty-four
hours.  Suddenly, the old man opens his eyes whispers: "I must be dreaming
of heaven...  I smell my daughter Lisle's strudel."
        "No, no, grandfather, you are not dreaming", he is reassured.
"Grandmother is baking strudel right now."
        A faint smile crosses the old man's face.  "Go an get me a sliver of
strudel," he says, "she bakes the finest strudel in the world."
        One of the grandchildren is immediately dispatched to honor the old
man's request, and, after what seems a long time, he returns empty-handed.
        "Did you bring me some of Lisle's strudel?", the old man quavers.
        "I'm... I'm very sorry, grandfather, but she says it's for the
funeral."

An optimist is a guy that has never had much experience.
                -- Don Marquis

An optimist is a man who looks forward to marriage.
A pessimist is a married optimist.

An ounce of clear truth is worth a pound of obfuscation.

An ounce of hypocrisy is worth a pound of ambition.
                -- Michael Korda