Freebsd Limericks

Augustus, for splashing his soup,
Was put for the night on the stoop;
        In the morning he'd not
        Repented a jot,
And next day he was dead of the croup.
                -- Edward Gorey

Back in the days of old Adam
The grass served as mattress for madam,
        And they spent the whole day
        On the sex that today
They would bounce on box springs, if they had 'em.

Each Friday his engines abort,
But Scotty is never caught short.
        He fills his machines
        With space-navy beans,
And farts the ship back into port.

Each night Father fills me with dread
When he sits on the foot of my bed;
        I'd not mind that he speaks
        In gibbers and squeaks,
But for the seventeen years he's been dead.
                -- Edward Gorey

Each night Father fills me with dread
When he sits on the foot ofmy bed;
        I'd not mind that he speaks
        In gibbers and squeaks,
But for the seventeen years he's been dead.
                -- Edward Gorey

From deep in the crypt at St. Giles
Came a bellow that echoed for miles.
        Said the rector, "My gracious,
        Has Father Ignatius
Forgotten the Bishop has piles!?"

From Number Nine, Penwiper Mews,
There is really abominable news;
        They've discovered a head
        In the box for the bread,
But nobody seems to know whose.
                -- Edward Gorey

From the bathing machine came a din
As of jollification within;
        It was heard far and wide,
        And the incoming tide
Had a definite flavour of gin.
                -- Edward Gorey

"Fucked by the finger of Fate!"
Bewailed a young fellow named Tate.
        "Since dating Miss Baugh,
        My whole tongue has been raw--
It must have been something I ate."

In the case of a lady named Frost,
Whose cunt's a good two feet acrost,
        It's the best part of valor
        To bugger the gal, or
You're apt to fall in and get lost.