Freebsd Limericks

There was a young fellow named Gluck
Who found himself shit out of luck.
        Though he petted and wooed,
        When he tried to get screwed
He found virgins just don't give a fuck.

There was a young fellow named Goody
Who claimed that he wouldn't, but would he?
        If he found himself nude
        With a gal in the mood
The question's not woody but could he?

There was a young fellow named Grant
Who was made like the sensitive plant.
        When they asked "Do you fuck?"
        He replied, "No such luck.
I would if I could, but I can't."

There was a young fellow named Grimes
Who fucked his girl seventeen times
        In the course of a week --
        And this isn't to speak
Of assorted venereal crimes.

There was a young fellow named Harry,
Had a joint that was long, huge and scary.
        He grabbed him a virgin,
        Who, without any urgin',
Immediately spread like a fairy.

There was a young fellow named Hatch
Who was fond of the music of Bach.
        He said: "It's not fussy
        Like Brahms and Debussy;
Sit down, and I'll play you a snatch."

There was a young fellow named Kimble
Whose prick was exceedingly nimble,
        But fragile and slender,
        And dainty and tender,
So he kept it encased in a thimble.

There was a young fellow named Meek
Who invented a lingual technique.
        It drove women frantic,
        And made them romantic,
And wore all the hair off his cheek.

There was a young fellow named Morgan
Who possessed an unusual organ:
        The end of his dong,
        Which was nine inches long,
Was tipped with the head of a gorgon.

There was a young fellow named Paul
Who confessed, "I have only one ball.
        But the size of my prick
        Is God's dirtiest trick,
For my girls always ask, 'Is that all?'"