Linux Men Women

A man does not look behind the door unless he has stood there himself.
                -- Du Bois

A man in love is incomplete until he is married.  Then he is finished.
                -- Zsa Zsa Gabor, "Newsweek"

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.
                -- Brendan Francis

A man is like a rusty wheel on a rusty cart,
He sings his song as he rattles along and then he falls apart.
                -- Richard Thompson

A man may be so much of everything that he is nothing of anything.
                -- Samuel Johnson

A man may sometimes be forgiven the kiss to which he is not entitled,
but never the kiss he has not the initiative to claim.

A man sank into the psychiatrist's couch and said, "I have a
terrible problem, Doctor.  I have a son at Harvard and another son at
Princeton; I've just gifted each of them with a new Ferrari; I've got
homes in Beverly Hills, Palm Beach, and a co-op in New York; and I've
got a thriving ranch in Venezuela.  My wife is a gorgeous young actress
who considers my two mistresses to be her best friends."
        The psychiatrist looked at the patient, confused.  "Did I miss
something?  It sounds to me like you have no problems at all."
        "But, Doctor, I only make $175 a week."

A man took his wife deer hunting for the first time.  After he'd given her
some basic instructions, they agreed to separate and rendezvous later.  Before
he left, he warned her if she should fell a deer to be wary of hunters who
might beat her to the carcass and claim the kill.  If that happened, he told
her, she should fire her gun three times into the air and he would come to
her aid.
        Shortly after they separated, he heard a single shot, followed quickly
by the agreed upon signal.  Running to the scene, he found his wife standing
in a small clearing with a very nervous man staring down her gun barrel.
        "He claims this is his," she said, obviously very upset.
        "She can keep it, she can keep it!" the wide-eyed man replied.  "I
just want to get my saddle back!"

A man usually falls in love with a woman who asks the kinds of questions
he is able to answer.
                -- Ronald Colman

A man was griping to his friend about how he hated to go home after a
late card games.
        "You wouldn't believe what I go through to avoid waking my wife,"
he said.  "First, I kill the engine a block away from the house and coast
into the garage.  Then I open the door slowly, take off my shoes, and
tiptoe to our room.  But just as I'm about to slide into bed, she always
wakes up and gives me hell."
        "I make a big racket when I go home," his friend replied.
        "You do?"
        "Sure.  I honk the horn, slam the door, turn on all the lights,
stomp up to the bedroom and give my wife a big kiss.  `Hi, Alice,' I say.
`How about a little smooch for your old man?'"
        "And what does she say?" his friend asked in disbelief.
        "She doesn't say anything," his buddy replied.  "She always pretends
she's asleep."