Linux Men Women

You can have a dog as a friend.  You can have whiskey as a friend.  But
if you have a woman as a friend, you're going to wind up drunk and kissing
your dog.
                -- foolin' around

You can never trust a woman; she may be true to you.

You can't kiss a girl unexpectedly -- only sooner than she thought you would.

You have only to mumble a few words in church to get married and few words
in your sleep to get divorced.

You just know when a relationship is about to end.  My girlfriend called me
at work and asked me how you change a lightbulb in the bathroom.  "It's very
simple," I said. "You start by filling up the bathtub with water..."

You know what we can be like:  See a guy and think he's cute one minute, the
next minute our brains have us married with kids, the following minute we see
him having an extramarital affair.  By the time someone says "I'd like you to
meet Cecil," we shout, "You're late again with the child support!"
                -- Cynthia Heimel, "A Girl's Guide to Chaos"

You know you're getting old when you're Dad, and you're measuring your daughter
for camp clothes, and there are certain measurements only her mother is allowed
to take.

You know, of course, that the Tasmanians, who never committed adultery,
are now extinct.
                -- M. Somerset Maugham

You lived with a man who wore white belts?  Laura, I'm disappointed in you.
                -- Remington Steele

You think Oedipus had a problem -- Adam was Eve's mother.