Linux Riddles

Q:      How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A:      Take away his credit cards.

Q:      How does a hacker fix a function which
        doesn't work for all of the elements in its domain?
A:      He changes the domain.

Q:      How does the Polish Constitution differ from the American?
A:      Under the Polish Constitution citizens are guaranteed freedom of
        speech, but under the United States constitution they are
        guaranteed freedom after speech.
                -- being told in Poland, 1987

Q:      How many Bell Labs Vice Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
A:      That's proprietary information.  Answer available from AT&T on payment
        of license fee (binary only).

Q:      How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:      Two.  One to assure everyone that everything possible is being
        done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.

Q:      How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A:      Five.  One to screw in the lightbulb and four to share the
                experience.  (Actually, Californians don't screw in
                lightbulbs, they screw in hot tubs.)

Q:      How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:      Three.  One to screw in the lightbulb and two to fend off all
                those Californians trying to share the experience.

Q:      How many college football players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A:      Only one, but he gets three credits for it.

Q:      How many DEC repairman does it take to fix a flat?
A:      Five; four to hold the car up and one to swap tires.

Q:      How long does it take?
A:      It's indeterminate.
        It will depend upon how many flats they've brought with them.

Q:      What happens if you've got TWO flats?
A:      They replace your generator.

Q:      How many elephants can you fit in a VW Bug?
A:      Four.  Two in the front, two in the back.

Q:      How can you tell if an elephant is in your refrigerator?
A:      There's a footprint in the mayo.

Q:      How can you tell if two elephants are in your refrigerator?
A:      There's two footprints in the mayo.

Q:      How can you tell if three elephants are in your refrigerator?
A:      The door won't shut.

Q:      How can you tell if four elephants are in your refrigerator?
A:      There's a VW Bug in your driveway.

Q:      How many existentialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A:      Two.  One to screw it in and one to observe how the lightbulb
        itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective
        reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a
        maudlin cosmos of nothingness.