Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Monday March 3, 2014

A thrice-married gal from L.A. Said, "My hymen's intact...
A thrice-married gal from L.A. Said, "My hymen's intact to this day, 'Cause my first (a shrink) talked of it, The voyeur only gawked at it, And my most recent man's a gourmet."

An orgasmic young sex star named Sue Was a hit as she writhed...
An orgasmic young sex star named Sue Was a hit as she writhed to a screw. Her climatic fame spread With an ad blitz that said: Coming soon at a theater near you!