Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of December, 2020

There once was a gaucho named Bruno, Who said, "About sex,...
There once was a gaucho named Bruno, Who said, "About sex, well, I do know, Sheep are just fine, Chickens, divine, But iguanas are Numero Uno."

There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing...
There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing machine. Both concave and convex, It could please either sex, But, oh, what a bastard to clean!

"Asked by reporters about his upcoming marriage to...
"Asked by reporters about his upcoming marriage to a forty-two-year-old woman, director Roman Polanski told reporters, `The way I look at it, she's the equivalent of three fourteen-year-olds.'" -- David Letterman

DELETE A FORTUNE! Don't some of these fortunes just drive...
DELETE A FORTUNE! Don't some of these fortunes just drive you nuts?! Wouldn't you like to see some of them deleted from the system? You can! Just mail to "fortune" with the fortune you hate most, and we MIGHT make sure it gets expunged.

A doctor calls his patient to give him the results of...
A doctor calls his patient to give him the results of his tests. "I have some bad news," says the doctor, "and some worse news." The bad news is that you only have six weeks to live." "Oh, no," says...

Beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie.
Beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie.

Do nothing unless you must, and when you must act -- hesitate.
Do nothing unless you must, and when you must act -- hesitate.

A couple was fishing near Clombe When the maid began looking...
A couple was fishing near Clombe When the maid began looking quite glum, And said, "Bother the fish! I'd rather coish!" Which they did -- which was why they had come.

A fellow whose surname was Hunt Trained his cock to perform...
A fellow whose surname was Hunt Trained his cock to perform a slick stunt: This versatile spout Could be turned inside out, Like a glove, and be used as a cunt.

A gay young prince from Morocco Made love in a manner rococco...
A gay young prince from Morocco Made love in a manner rococco. He painted his penis To resemble a venus And flavored his semen with cocoa.