Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Friday March 29, 2024

An ingenious young man in South Bend Made a synthetic ass for...
An ingenious young man in South Bend Made a synthetic ass for a friend, But the friend shortly found Its construction unsound, It was simply a bother -- no end.

An innocent maiden named Herridge Was cruelly tricked...
An innocent maiden named Herridge Was cruelly tricked ito marriage; When she later found out What her spouse was about, She threw herself under a carriage. -- Edward Gorey

An organist playing in York Had a prick that could hold a small...
An organist playing in York Had a prick that could hold a small fork, And between obbligatos He'd munch at tomatoes, To keep up his strength while at work.

There was a young Jew of Far Rockaway Whose screams could...
There was a young Jew of Far Rockaway Whose screams could be heard for a block away. Perceiving his error, The Rabbi in terror Cried, "God! I have cut his whole cock away!"

There was a young fellow named Fyfe Whose marriage was ruined...
There was a young fellow named Fyfe Whose marriage was ruined for life, For he had an aversion To every perversion, And only liked fucking his wife. Well, one year the poor woman struck, And she wept, and she cursed at her luck, ...

There was a young girl from the coast Who, just when she needed...
There was a young girl from the coast Who, just when she needed it most, Lost her Kotex and bled All over the bed, And the head and the beard of her host.

There was a young girl in Berlin Who eked out a living through...
There was a young girl in Berlin Who eked out a living through sin. She didn't mind fucking, But much preferred sucking, And she'd wipe off the pricks on her chin.

There was a young girl named Heather Whose twitcher was made...
There was a young girl named Heather Whose twitcher was made out of leather. She made a queer noise, Which attracted the boys, By flapping the edges together.