Freebsd Limericks

There was a young lady named Bright
Who could travel much faster than light.
        She took off one day,
        In a relative way,
And returned on the previous night.

There was a young lady named Brook
Who never could learn how to cook.
        But on a divan
        She could please any man-
She knew every darn trick in the book!

There was a young lady named Cager
Who, as the result of a wager,
        Consented to fart
        The entire oboe part
Of Mozart's quartet in F major.

There was a young lady named Ciss
Who said, "I think skating's a bliss "
        But she'll never restate,
        For a wheel off her skate
.siht ekil gnihtemos pu hsinif reh edaM

There was a young lady named Clair
Who possessed a magnificent pair;
        At least so I thought
        Till I saw one get caught
On a thorn, and begin losing air.

There was a young lady named Dot
Whose cunt was so terribly hot
        That ten bishops of Rome
        And the Pope's private gnome
Failed to quench her Vesuvial twat.

There was a young lady named Duff
With a lovely, luxuriant muff.
        In his haste to get in her
        One eager beginner
Lost both of his balls in the rough.

There was a young lady named Etta
Who was constantly seen in a swetta.
        Three reasons she had:
        To keep warm wasn't bad,
But the other two reasons were betta.

There was a young lady named Fleager
Who was terribly, terribly eager
        To be all the rage
        On the tragedy stage,
Though her talents were pitifully meagre.
                -- Edward Gorey

There was a young lady named Flo
Whose lover had pulled out too slow.
        So they tried it all night,
        Till he got it just right...
Well, practice makes pregnant, you know.