Linux Work

About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
        -- Herbert Hoover

According to a recent and unscientific national survey, smiling is something
everyone should do at least 6 times a day.  In an effort to increase the
national average  (the US ranks third among the world's superpowers in
smiling), Xerox has instructed all personnel to be happy, effervescent, and
most importantly, to smile.  Xerox employees agree, and even feel strongly
that they can not only meet but surpass the national average...  except for
Tubby Ackerman.  But because Tubby does such a fine job of racing around
parking lots with a large butterfly net retrieving floating IC chips, Xerox
decided to give him a break.  If you see Tubby in a parking lot he may have
a sheepish grin.  This is where the expression, "Service with a slightly
sheepish grin" comes from.

According to all the latest reports, there was no truth in any of the
earlier reports.

Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest
way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless.
        -- Sinclair Lewis

Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.
        -- George Orwell

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human
intelligence long enough to get money from it.

After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done.

After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the
month than you did before.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too,
provided you use them for business purposes.  For example, if you subscribe
to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you can deduct the
cost of your house, because, in the words of U.S. Supreme Court Chief
Justice Warren Burger in a landmark 1979 tax decision: "Where else are you
going to read the paper?  Outside?  What if it rains?"
        -- Dave Barry, "Sweating Out Taxes"