Linux Work

The Worst Car Hire Service
    When David Schwartz left university in 1972, he set up Rent-a-wreck
as a joke.  Being a natural prankster, he acquired a fleet of beat-up
shabby, wreckages waiting for the scrap heap in California.
    He put on a cap and looked forward to watching people's faces as he
conducted them round the choice of bumperless, dented junkmobiles.
    To his lasting surprise there was an insatiable demand for them and
he now has 26 thriving branches all over America.  "People like driving
round in the worst cars available," he said.  Of course they do.
    "If a driver damages the side of a car and is honest enough to
admit it, I tell him, `Forget it'.  If they bring a car back late we
overlook it.  If they've had a crash and it doesn't involve another vehicle
we might overlook that too."
    "Where's the ashtray?" asked on Los Angeles wife, as she settled
into the ripped interior.  "Honey," said her husband, "the whole car's the
ash tray."
        -- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"

Their idea of an offer you can't refuse is an offer... and you'd better
not refuse.

Them as has, gets.

    Then a man said: Speak to us of Expectations.
    He then said: If a man does not see or hear the waters of the
Jordan, then he should not taste the pomegranate or ply his wares in an
open market.
    If a man would not labour in the salt and rock quarries then he
should not accept of the Earth that which he refuses to give of
himself.

    Such a man would expect a pear of a peach tree.
    Such a man would expect a stone to lay an egg.
    Such a man would expect Sears to assemble a lawnmower.
        -- Kehlog Albran, "The Profit"

Then there was the ScoutMaster who got a fantastic deal on this case of
Tates brand compasses for his troup; only $1.25 each!  Only problem was,
when they got them out in the woods, the compasses were all stuck pointing
to the "W" on the dial.

Moral:
    He who has a Tates is lost!

There are many of us in this old world of ours who hold that things break
about even for all of us.  I have observed, for example, that we all get
about the same amount of ice.  The rich get it in the summer and the poor
get it in the winter.
        -- Bat Masterson

There are worse things in life than death.  Have you ever spent an evening
with an insurance salesman?
        -- Woody Allen

There has been a little distress selling on the stock exchange.
        -- Thomas W. Lamont, October 29, 1929 (Black Tuesday)

There is a good deal of solemn cant about the common interests of capital
and labour.  As matters stand, their only common interest is that of cutting
each other's throat.
        -- Brooks Atkinson, "Once Around the Sun"

There is hardly a thing in the world that some man can not make a little
worse and sell a little cheaper.