Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Sunday February 2, 2014

There once was a girl named Mcgoffin Who was diddled amazingly...
There once was a girl named Mcgoffin Who was diddled amazingly often. She was rogered by scores Who'd been turned down by whores, And was finally screwed in her coffin.

There was a young fellow named Blaine, And he screwed some...
There was a young fellow named Blaine, And he screwed some disgusting old jane. She was ugly and smelly With an awful pot-belly, But... well, they were caught in the rain.

Ladles and Jellyspoons! I come before you to stand behind...
Ladles and Jellyspoons! I come before you to stand behind you, To tell you something I know nothing about. Since next Thursday will be Good Friday, There will be a fathers' meeting, for mothers only. Wear your best clothes, if you don't have any,...

Woke up this morning, don't believe what I saw. Hundred billion...
Woke up this morning, don't believe what I saw. Hundred billion bottles washed up on the shore. Seems I'm not alone in being alone. Hundred billion castaways looking for a call. -- The Police, "Message in a Bottle"