Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Sunday March 1, 2015

A wanton young lady from Wimley Reproached for not acting quite...
A wanton young lady from Wimley Reproached for not acting quite primly Said, "Heavens above! I know sex isn't love, But it's such an entrancing facsimile."

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

There was a young lady in Reno, Who lost all her dough playing...
There was a young lady in Reno, Who lost all her dough playing Keno. But she lay on her back, And opened her crack, So now she owns the Casino!

He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being...
He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man. -- Dr. Johnson

Honi soit qui mal y pense. [Evil to him who evil...
Honi soit qui mal y pense. [Evil to him who evil thinks.] -- Motto of the Order of the Garter (est. Edward III)

The Poet Whose Badness Saved His Life The most...
The Poet Whose Badness Saved His Life The most important poet in the seventeenth century was George Wither. Alexander Pope called him "wretched Wither" and Dryden said of his verse that "if they rhymed and rattled all...