Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of April, 2015

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

There once was a man named McGruder, Who canoed with a girl...
There once was a man named McGruder, Who canoed with a girl in Bermuder. But the girl thought it crude, To be wooed in the nude, So McGru took an oar and subduder.

Best of all is never to have been born. Second best is to...
Best of all is never to have been born. Second best is to die soon.

If God had meant for us to be naked, we would have been born...
If God had meant for us to be naked, we would have been born that way.

Breeding rabbits is a hare raising experience.
Breeding rabbits is a hare raising experience.

If God wanted us to be brave, why did he give us legs? ...
If God wanted us to be brave, why did he give us legs? -- Marvin Kitman

The higher you climb, the more you show your ass...
The higher you climb, the more you show your ass. -- Alexander Pope, "The Dunciad"

What will happen when the 32-bit Unix date goes negative...
What will happen when the 32-bit Unix date goes negative in mid-January 2038 does not bear thinking about. -- Henry Spencer

A lovely young diver named Nancy, Wore a bikini bottom quite...
A lovely young diver named Nancy, Wore a bikini bottom quite chancy, The fish of Bonaire, Watched her Derriere, And the sea fans all tickled her fancy.

A princess who reigned in Baroda Made her home on a purple...
A princess who reigned in Baroda Made her home on a purple pagoda. She festooned the walls Of her halls with the balls And the tools of the fools who be-stroda'.