Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Thursday April 7, 2016

A very intelligent turtle Found programming UNIX a hurdle ...
A very intelligent turtle Found programming UNIX a hurdle The system, you see, Ran as slow as did he, And that's not saying much for the turtle.

A slick talking pirate named Bruce To steal code, had a plan...
A slick talking pirate named Bruce To steal code, had a plan to seduce An Apple II+. Now Bruce wears a truss And was jailed for computer abuse.

A software technician from Digital Had hardware extremely...
A software technician from Digital Had hardware extremely prodigical. It's rumoured, I hear, That when he was near He made the ladies all flustered and fidgital.

A timid young woman named Jane Found parties a terrible...
A timid young woman named Jane Found parties a terrible strain; With movements uncertain She'd hide in a curtain And make sounds like a rabbit in pain. -- Edward Gorey

A trapper named Francois Lefebrve Once captured and buggered...
A trapper named Francois Lefebrve Once captured and buggered a beabrve. The result of this fuck Was a three titted duck, A canoe, and an Irish retriebrve.

A vengeful technician named Schmitz Caused a disk drive to...
A vengeful technician named Schmitz Caused a disk drive to go on the fritz. He covered the platter With bats' fecal matter. Now it's seek time is really the pits.

In the little French town of Le'Beau, Lived a maiden...
In the little French town of Le'Beau, Lived a maiden exceedingly droll. At a masquerade ball, Clad in nothing at all, She backed in as a Parker house roll.

No hardware designer should be allowed to produce any piece...
No hardware designer should be allowed to produce any piece of hardware until three software guys have signed off for it. -- Andy Tanenbaum