Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Thursday October 10, 2019

There once was a man named McGruder, Who canoed with a girl...
There once was a man named McGruder, Who canoed with a girl in Bermuder. But the girl thought it crude, To be wooed in the nude, So McGru took an oar and subduder.

There once was a miner named Dave, Who kept a dead whore in...
There once was a miner named Dave, Who kept a dead whore in his cave. She was ugly as shit, And missing one tit, But think of the money he saves.

There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town...
There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town in an Austin, There was room for his ass, And a gallon of gas, So he hung out his balls and he lost 'em.

There was a gay parson of Tooting Whose roe he was frequently...
There was a gay parson of Tooting Whose roe he was frequently shooting, Till he married a lass With a face like my arse, And a cunt you could put a top-boot in.

There was a girl from Aberystwyth Who brought grain to the mill...
There was a girl from Aberystwyth Who brought grain to the mill to get grist with. The miller's son Jack Laid her flat on her back And united the organs they pissed with.

There was an old lady of Glascow, Whose party proved quite...
There was an old lady of Glascow, Whose party proved quite a fiasco. At nine-thirty, about, The lights all went out, Through a lapse on the part of the Gas Co.