Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Friday May 3, 2019

There once was a man with a hernia Who said to his doctor,...
There once was a man with a hernia Who said to his doctor, "Gol dern ya, When you work on my middle Be sure you don't fiddle With things that do not concern ya."

While his duchess lay practically dead, The Duke...
While his duchess lay practically dead, The Duke of Daguerrodargue said: "Can it be this is all? How puny! How small! Have destroyed this disgrace to my bed." -- Edward Gorey