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When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity: for
every week you're away and get nothing done, there's another when your boss
is away and you get twice as much done.
-- Daniel B. Luten
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When smashing monuments, save the pedstals -- they always come in handy.
-- Stanislaw J. Lem, "Unkempt Thoughts"
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When some people decide it's time for everyone to make
big changes, it means that they want you to change first.
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When some people discover the truth, they just
can't understand why everybody isn't eager to hear it.
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When someone makes a move We'll send them all we've got,
Of which we don't approve, John Wayne and Randolph Scott,
Who is it that always intervenes? Remember those exciting fighting scenes?
U.N. and O.A.S., To the shores of Tripoli,
They have their place, I guess, But not to Mississippoli,
But first, send the Marines! What do we do? We send the Marines!
For might makes right, Members of the corps
And till they've seen the light, All hate the thought of war:
They've got to be protected, They'd rather kill them off by
All their rights respected, Stop calling it aggression--
Till somebody we like can be elected. We hate that expression!
We only want the world to know
That we support the status quo;
They love us everywhere we go,
So when in doubt, send the Marines!
-- Tom Lehrer, "Send The Marines"
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When someone says "I want a programming language in
which I need only say what I wish done," give him a lollipop.
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When speculation has done its worst, two plus two still equals four.
-- S. Johnson
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When taxes are due, Americans tend to feel quite bled-white and blue.
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When the Apple IIc was introduced, the informative copy led off with a couple
of asterisked sentences:
It weighs less than 8 pounds.*
And costs less than $1,300.**
In tiny type were these "fuller explanations":
* Don't asterisks make you suspicious as all get out? Well, all
this means is that the IIc alone weights 7.5 pounds. The power
pack, monitor, an extra disk drive, a printer and several bricks
will make the IIc weigh more. Our lawyers were concerned that you
might not be able to figure this out for yourself.
** The FTC is concerned about price fixing. You can pay more if
you really want to. Or less.
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When the ax entered the forest, the trees said, "The handle is one of us!"
-- Turkish proverb