Freebsd Fortunes

It is against the law for a monster to enter the corporate limits of
Urbana, Illinois.

It is always preferable to visit home with a friend.  Your parents will
not be pleased with this plan, because they want you all to themselves
and because in the presence of your friend, they will have to act like
mature human beings ...
                -- Playboy, January 1983

It is amusing that a virtue is made of the vice of chastity; and it's a
pretty odd sort of chastity at that, which leads men straight into the
sin of Onan, and girls to the waning of their color.
                -- Voltaire

It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what
they seem.  For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed
that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so
much -- the wheel, New York wars and so on -- whilst all the dolphins
had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time.  But
conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more
intelligent than man -- for precisely the same reasons.

Curiously enough, the dolphins had long known of the impending
destruction of the of the planet Earth and had made many attempts to
alert mankind to the danger; but most of their communications were
misinterpreted ...
                -- Douglas Admas "The Hitch-Hikers' Guide To The
                   Galaxy"

It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be
coming up it.
                -- Henry Allen

It is better never to have been born.  But who among us has such luck?
One in a million, perhaps.

It is better to kiss an avocado than to get in a fight with an aardvark

It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three
benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never
to use either.
                -- Mark Twain

It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both
incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by
twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.
                -- Rod Serling

"It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is
lightly greased."
                -- Kehlog Albran, "The Profit"