Freebsd Fortunes 2

A squeegee by any other name wouldn't sound as funny.

A statesman is a politician who's been dead 10 or 15 years.
                -- Harry S. Truman

A statistician, who refused to fly after reading of the alarmingly high
probability that there will be a bomb on any given plane, realized that
the probability of there being two bombs on any given flight is very low.
Now, whenever he flies, he carries a bomb with him.

A stitch in time saves nine.

"...A strange enigma is man!"
"Someone calls him a soul concealed in an animal," I suggested.
        "Winwood Reade is good upon the subject," said Holmes.  "He remarked
that, while the individual man is an insoluble puzzle, in the aggregate he
becomes a mathematical certainty.  You can, for example, never foretell what
any one man will do, but you can say with precision what an average number
will be up to.  Individuals vary, but percentages remain constant.  So says
the statistician."
                -- Sherlock Holmes, "The Sign of Four"

A straw vote only shows which way the hot air blows.

A straw vote only shows which way the hot air blows.
                -- O'Henry

A student, in hopes of understanding the Lambda-nature, came to Greenblatt.
As they spoke a Multics system hacker walked by.  "Is it true", asked the
student, "that PL-1 has many of the same data types as Lisp?"  Almost before
the student had finished his question, Greenblatt shouted, "FOO!", and hit
the student with a stick.

A student who changes the course of history is probably taking an exam.

A stunning blonde, but probably all bean dip above the eyebrows.