Freebsd Fortunes

If you live to the age of a hundred you have it made because very few
people die past the age of a hundred.
                -- George Burns

If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you
really make them think they'll hate you.

If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.
                -- Maslow

If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure
can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way will promptly
develop.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite
you.  This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
                -- Mark Twain

If you push the "extra ice" button on the soft drink vending machine,
you won't get any ice.  If you push the "no ice" button, you'll get
ice, but no cup.

If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage.  But
this garbage, having passed through a very expensive machine, is
somehow enobled and none dare criticize it.

If you sit down at a poker game and don't see a sucker, get up.  You're
the sucker.

If you stand on your head, you will get footprints in your hair.

If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker,
It is slick to stick a lock upon your stock.
        Or some joker who is slicker,
        Will trick you of your liquor,
If you fail to lock your liquor with a lock.