Freebsd Fortunes

CANCER (June 21 - July 22)
        You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's
problems.  They think you are a sucker.  You are always putting things
off.  That's why you'll never make anything of yourself.  Most welfare
recipients are Cancer people.

Canonical, adj.:
        The usual or standard state or manner of something.  A true
story:  One Bob Sjoberg, new at the MIT AI Lab, expressed some
annoyance at the use of jargon.  Over his loud objections, we made a
point of using jargon as much as possible in his presence, and
eventually it began to sink in.  Finally, in one conversation, he used
the word "canonical" in jargon-like fashion without thinking.
        Steele: "Aha!  We've finally got you talking jargon too!"
        Stallman: "What did he say?"
        Steele: "He just used `canonical' in the canonical way."

CAPRICORN (Dec 23 - Jan 19)
        You are conservative and afraid of taking risks.  You don't do
much of anything and are lazy.  There has never been a Capricorn of any
importance.  Capricorns should avoid standing still for too long as
they take root and become trees.

Captain Penny's Law:
        You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of
the people all of the time, but you Can't Fool Mom.

Carelessly planned projects take three times longer to complete than
expected.  Carefully planned projects take four times longer to
complete than expected, mostly because the planners expect their
planning to reduce the time it takes.

Carmel, New York, has an ordinance forbidding men to wear coats and
trousers that don't match.

Carperpetuation (kar' pur pet u a shun), n.:
        The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a
dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then
putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
                -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"

Cat, n.:
        Lapwarmer with built-in buzzer.

Cauliflower is nothing but Cabbage with a College Education.
                -- Mark Twain

Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health.