Freebsd Fortunes

Men were real men, women were real women, and small, furry creatures
from Alpha Centauri were REAL small, furry creatures from Alpha
Centauri.  Spirits were brave, men boldly split infinitives that no man
had split before.  Thus was the Empire forged.
                -- "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", Douglas Adams

Mencken and Nathan's Fifteenth Law of The Average American:
        The worst actress in the company is always the manager's wife.

Mencken and Nathan's Ninth Law of The Average American:
        The quality of a champagne is judged by the amount of noise the
cork makes when it is popped.

Mencken and Nathan's Second Law of The Average American:
        All the postmasters in small towns read all the postcards.

Mencken and Nathan's Sixteenth Law of The Average American:
        Milking a cow is an operation demanding a special talent that
is possessed only by yokels, and no person born in a large city can
never hope to acquire it.

Men's skin is different from women's skin.  It is usually bigger, and
it has more snakes tattooed on it.  Also, if you examine a woman's skin
very closely, inch by inch, starting at her shapely ankles, then gently
tracing the slender curve of her calves, then moving up to her ...
        [EDITOR'S NOTE: To make room for news articles about important
         world events such as agriculture, we're going to delete the
         next few square feet of the woman's skin.  Thank you.]
... until finally the two of you are lying there, spent, smoking your
cigarettes, and suddenly it hits you: Human skin is actually made up of
billions of tiny units of protoplasm, called "cells"!  And what is even
more interesting, the ones on the outside are all dying!  This is a
fact.  Your skin is like an aggressive modern corporation, where the
older veteran cells, who have finally worked their way to the top and
obtained offices with nice views, are constantly being shoved out the
window head first, without so much as a pension plan, by younger
hotshot cells moving up from below.
                -- Dave Barry, "Saving Face"

Menu, n.:
        A list of dishes which the restaurant has just run out of.

Meskimen's Law:
        There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to
do it over.

MESSAGE ACKNOWLEDGED -- The Pershing II missiles have been launched.

Message will arrive in the mail.  Destroy, before the FBI sees it.