Freebsd Fortunes 2

According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place to live in
America is the city of Pittsburgh.  The city of New York came in twenty-fifth.
Here in New York we really don't care too much. Because we know that we could
beat up their city anytime.
                -- David Letterman

ACCORDION:
        A bagpipe with pleats.

ACCURACY:
        The vice of being right.

Acid -- better living through chemistry.

Acid absorbs 47 times its own weight in excess Reality.

Acquaintance, n:
        A person whom we know well enough to borrow from but not well
        enough to lend to.  A degree of friendship called slight when the
        object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.
                -- Ambrose Bierce

Acting is an art which consists of keeping the audience from coughing.

Acting is not very hard.  The most important things are to be able to laugh
and cry.  If I have to cry, I think of my sex life.  And if I have to laugh,
well, I think of my sex life.
                -- Glenda Jackson

Actor                   Real Name

Boris Karloff           William Henry Pratt
Cary Grant              Archibald Leach
Edward G. Robinson      Emmanual Goldenburg
Gene Wilder             Gerald Silberman
John Wayne              Marion Morrison
Kirk Douglas            Issur Danielovitch
Richard Burton          Richard Jenkins Jr.
Roy Rogers              Leonard Slye
Woody Allen             Allen Stewart Konigsberg

Actor:  So what do you do for a living?
Doris:  I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving
        dishes for Chinese restaurants.
                -- Woody Allen, "Without Feathers"