Linux Art

I was working on a case.  It had to be a case, because I couldn't afford a
desk.  Then I saw her.  This tall blond lady.  She must have been tall
because I was on the third floor.  She rolled her deep blue eyes towards
me.  I picked them up and rolled them back.  We kissed.  She screamed.  I
took the cigarette from my mouth and kissed her again.

I watch television because you don't know what it will do if you leave it
in the room alone.

I went into the business for the money, and the art grew out of it.  If
people are disillusioned by that remark, I can't help it.  It's the truth.
                -- Charlie Chaplin

I went to a Grateful Dead Concert and they played for SEVEN hours.  Great song.
                -- Fred Reuss

I WISH I HAD A KRYPTONITE CROSS, because then you could keep both Dracula
and Superman away.
                -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.

I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence.  There's a
knob called "brightness", but it doesn't seem to work.
                -- Gallagher

I'd just as soon kiss a Wookie.
                -- Princess Leia Organa

I'll be Grateful when they're Dead.

I'll never get off this planet.
                -- Luke Skywalker

I'm a Hollywood writer; so I put on a sports jacket and take off my brain.