Linux Art

Prizes are for children.
                -- Charles Ives, upon being given, but refusing, the
                   Pulitzer prize

Producers seem to be so prejudiced against actors who've had no training.
And there's no reason for it.  So what if I didn't attend the Royal Academy
for twelve years?  I'm still a professional trying to be the best actress
I can.  Why doesn't anyone send me the scripts that Faye Dunaway gets?
                -- Farrah Fawcett-Majors

Public use of any portable music system is a virtually guaranteed indicator
of sociopathic tendencies.
                -- Zoso

Publishing a volume of verse is like dropping a rose petal down the
Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo.

Pure drivel tends to drive ordinary drivel off the TV screen.

Rascal, am I?  Take THAT!
                -- Errol Flynn

Recently deceased blues guitarist Stevie Ray Vaughan "comes to" after
his death.  He sees Jimi Hendrix sitting next to him, tuning his guitar.
"Holy cow," he thinks to himself, "this guy is my idol."  Over at the
microphone, about to sing, are Jim Morrison and Janis Joplin, and the
bassist is the late Barry Oakley of the Allman Brothers.  So Stevie
Ray's thinking, "Oh, wow!  I've died and gone to rock and roll heaven."
Just then, Karen Carpenter walks in, sits down at the drums, and says:
"'Close to You'.  Hit it, boys!"
                -- Told by Penn Jillette, of magic/comedy duo Penn and Teller

Rembrandt is not to be compared in the painting of character with our
extraordinarily gifted English artist, Mr. Rippingille.
                -- John Hunt, British editor, scholar and art critic
                   Cerf/Navasky, "The Experts Speak"

"Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it."
                -- Dave Barry

Satire is tragedy plus time.
                -- Lenny Bruce