Linux Men Women

Dear Miss Manners:
Please list some tactful ways of removing a man's saliva from your face.

Gentle Reader:
Please list some decent ways of acquiring a man's saliva on your face. If
the gentleman sprayed you inadvertently to accompany enthusiastic
discourse, you may step back two paces, bring out your handkerchief, and
go through the motions of wiping your nose, while trailing the cloth along
your face to pick up whatever needs mopping along the route.  If, however,
the substance was acquired as a result of enthusiasm of a more intimate
nature, you may delicately retrieve it with a flick of your pink tongue.

Do not permit a woman to ask forgiveness, for that is only the first
step.  The second is justification of herself by accusation of you.
                -- DeGourmont

Do you think your mother and I should have lived comfortably so long
together if ever we had been married?

Don't assume that every sad-eyed woman has loved and lost -- she may
have got him.

Don't know what time I'll be back, Mom.  Probably soon after she throws me out.

Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
                -- Scottish Proverb

Dull women have immaculate homes.

        During a visit to America, Winston Churchill was invited to a buffet
luncheon at which cold fried chicken was served.  Returning for a second
helping, he asked politely, "May I have some breast?"
        "Mr. Churchill," replied the hostess, "in this country we ask for
white meat or dark meat."  Churchill apologized profusely.
        The following morning, the lady received a magnificent orchid from
her guest of honor.  The accompanying card read: "I would be most obliged if
you would pin this on your white meat."

Economists are still trying to figure out why the girls with the least
principle draw the most interest.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America.  The rest cheat in Europe.
                -- Jackie Mason