Linux Men Women

        Fred noticed his roommate had a black eye upon returning from a dance.
"What happened?"
        "I was struck by the beauty of the place."

        Friends were surprised, indeed, when Frank and Jennifer broke their
engagement, but Frank had a ready explanation: "Would you marry someone who
was habitually unfaithful, who lied at every turn, who was selfish and lazy
and sarcastic?"
        "Of course not," said a sympathetic friend.
        "Well," retorted Frank, "neither would Jennifer."

                                FROM THE DESK OF
                                Rapunzel

Dear Prince:

        Use ladder tonight -- you're splitting my ends.

Genuine happiness is when a wife sees a double chin on her husband's
old girl friend.

                        -- Gifts for Men --

Men are amused by almost any idiot thing -- that is why professional ice
hockey is so popular -- so buying gifts for them is easy.  But you should
never buy them clothes.  Men believe they already have all the clothes they
will ever need, and new ones make them nervous.  For example, your average
man has 84 ties, but he wears, at most, only three of them.  He has learned,
through humiliating trial and error, that if he wears any of the other 81
ties, his wife will probably laugh at him ("You're not going to wear THAT
tie with that suit, are you?"). So he has narrowed it down to three safe
ties, and has gone several years without being laughed at.  If you give him
a new tie, he will pretend to like it, but deep inside he will hate you.

If you want to give a man something practical, consider tires.  More than
once, I would have gladly traded all the gifts I got for a new set of tires.
                -- Dave Barry, "Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide"

Girls are better looking in snowstorms.
                -- Archie Goodwin

Girls marry for love.  Boys marry because of a chronic irritation that
causes them to gravitate in the direction of objects with certain curvilinear
properties.
                -- Ashley Montagu

Girls really do know just what they want -- you to figure it out for yourself!

Girls who throw themselves at men, are actually taking very careful aim.

Give a woman an inch and she'll park a car in it.